.... .... ...

PICTURE, from loli shot. me and chiruchiru. i look like some feminine guy crossdressin. most weird.

it is one of the times of your life where you really feel like dying.

but usually its because you failed in something or did something wrong, but no. it seems to me that I do not have things like that in life these days....

more of i feel like dying because I find no purpose in anything. it sucks, i know. but this phase will pass. its jus when....i might have to suffer more den i can think....health isnt really in good condition anymore...i should have seen it coming when my appetite went bad and i started throwin up. this isnt working....but its kinda of interesting in a way.

I want you to watch ME waste away in front of you. applies to you,you,you,and YOU there in a corner. i dont care who. but i find this interesting and almost amusing to try out. I have done it once and I dont mind trying again. its in the nature, the sadist nature. no i m not in a kiddin mood right now. i mean it. i m goin off to find a bottle of alcohol now. and i know what will happen if i dodge it down >3 its almost amusing to watch myself. if it werent me.



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