Monday, April 4, 2011
Life is unexpected
yeap! Sheryl nome pictures from jon /0/ because i can hash.
and mr chow, jus in case you are reading this. i need those damn originals. editing 80% on photoshop is bullshit, i need at least a 30% to see my face, kthx.
Anyway. this is a half happy half sad post actually.
approx 1pm on Saturday, my neighbour passed away. I've tweeted about it.
here is my twitter for those who wanna know: http://twitter.com/Sochii_Andelia
here's the story...
I've only came to know about it on Saturday, after i've dropped my brother at BB's swimming pool for his lifeguard lessons. I did not even know when I stepped out to pick up the car, but I am glad i did not, if not i would have been affected while driving.
So yea.. reached home to the news of my neighbour's death. My neighbour who lived directly opposite me, an eighty-two year old lady. I dont even know her age until today.
Her death naturally affected me... and it was prolly as much as when my grandma died. Do not get me wrong... I am not devasted at all, i just feel sad.
Even though it was my grandma, sadly throughout the whole funeral, i only cried ONCE when during her cremation. I couldnt feel anything for her during the funeral because...my last few years spent with her was full of annoyance for her and her behaviour.. It was only when they were cremating her, my childhood memories of her return, back when she was a much better woman, and then, i cried because I've really lost her.
Back to my neighbour.. i dont know how you say this in english, maybe it translate into old aunt or something, but both me and my brother have always called her Ah Mm.
She was like a grandmother to me, besides my two other grandmamas. I heard from mommy that she likes us as much as we like her. She would give us treats now and den, and when she strikes lottery, she would give us money to get sweets when we were young.
I remember, when I was young, I am totally CLUELESS about dialects. I couldnt understand what she want to say to me, and she doesnt speak much chinese, and you can forget about even conversing in english of course. When i've finally learnt to speak Hokkien, but i still suck at it of course, but at least i can understand and reply SOMEWHAT. She praised me for it, I remembered I was really happy that I can finally talk to her.
Whenever I come home from school,work,night out, day out or just from running errands, and I see her, she will always ask: You are back ar?*in dialect*
I will smile and reply her: yea. She always have this warm smile on her face which makes me smile back even when I am really unhappy. Sometimes, she would ask if i was back from school. Of course sometimes, I would reply yes, other times I would correct her accordingly. Even though our convos are always like that and short, it was nice and warm to know that someone is concerned about your whereabouts.
I guess, that is how people take things for granted. I've always thought that she will be there, to ask whenever she can. the last time, she asked me... was prolly last tuesday only? Who am i kidding right? She's old already, when people are old, they are bound to go sometime soon.
I've just visited her funeral with mommy just now, i did not cry... but standing infront of her coffin was just overwhelming. I feel like attend her cremation, but I have to work on that day. I will see what my mommy do, and whether I should go depending on situation.
okay, hahahah up till here. I really feel like crying now, because I was thinking of the next line, and it really makes me want to tear...
two. out of three of my grandmother has gone, to a better place of course. I am really fearful, because I love my last grandmother alot, alot alot and really alot. However she is well and healthy, cheerful and all. I love her.
On the haepuip side, hahahahah XD
Wednesday, I will be working with twinneh @ shangri-la and I m finally able to cosplay Alois thanks to sana[i think?]
This would be awesome, because I so love alois for his crazy antics... well.. not as much as i love grell 8DDD
Sometimes, just when I thought that everything mean nothing.
Forgot my positive thoughts, abandon my senses, throw away myself.
I look up and realise... It was always there.
No matter how harsh things goes, somehow it will always be there.
Assuring me, making me realise how blissful I actually am.
It is just plain stupid, but believing, makes me a happy idiot i guess?
Even if... hahaha there is no even if actually because I believe.
what am i bloggin about again! （（（（ヽ(｀０´）ノ））））
hahaha shall go watch some anime /0/
and yes. this post goes under family, because she was like a grandma to me.
oh BTW. please vote for me in this competition~~~ much appreciated