= Untitled =

Isnt my hubby oh-so-hot?
*straddles at his feet* i can stare at his pictures for HOURS. hahahaha

anyway. this is untitled because I have something to annouce. its not exactly a I-AM-SUPER-HAPPY-THING, and its not exactly a shitty thing. its just...meh. Maybe if it was 5 months back, I would have been like WOOOOOOOOOO super happy but now its jus ...

For those who know, YAR YAR OKAI. for those who do not know, MEH, now you do.

This is the 6th month i'm attached.

WHAT?!!! ah well. you read it correctly. I've been attached for 5 whole months and this is the 6th.

Those who figured out, good. those who didnt, it isnt your fault that i am rather low profile about it.

Why say it now you might ask...that is what I am gettin to.

oh, and incase anybody is wondering. the guy is Shinn.

I KNEW IT! yea, whatever, shutup and read on. ahahaha.

==

It started off as a mutual thing, but as time passed, it is starting to become a toll on us, both of us.

Why have i decided to say it? Because of a big fight last night that I had with him.
well..to others it might not be much of a fight, cos it usually consist of me shouting my head off, while he tries to reason with me. Does that makes me sound unreasonable? if you are the same as me, you wont find it unreasonable. if you are not, maybe you will.

When we started off, we did decide that we do not want to be too loud about it, so yea. not many people know. only when they ask den we talked bout it. Status was not important. Apparently now...its a whole different story. Even though he still say that its not important, all that he is showing me is YES I NEED THE DAMN STATUS. you want it, i'll give it to you.

so there you have it guys.

I AM ATTACHED TO SHINN. FIVE MONTHS TO DATE AND WE ARE IN THE SIXTH MONTH.

not only that. he knew that I had a hard time telling my parents, but EVERYTIME, supposedly RANDOMLY, he asked me whether I have tell my parents yet. another DAMN STATUS PROBLEM. I thought it was just like that. but everytime, we jus had to fight when we are not facing each other. Last night, we had an online call, and yea. IT WAS HUGE, i was practically raising my voice, and my mom was shocked.
She asked me what happen this morning that I have to raise my voice.

In a fit of anger, since HE WANTS IT SO BADLY. I DECIDED, WHY NOT.
so i answered, i was shouting at my BOYFRIEND. she wasnt really surprised, so i guess she knew somewhere along the way.

SO NOW YOU HAVE IT, SHINN. MY PARENTS KNOW YOU ARE. HAVE YOUR STATUS.

==

third. I am okay with you sharing problems with others, but HELL I DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN YOU SHARE PRSONAL STUFF WITH OTHERS. YOU JUS HAD TO TELL, DIN YOU? and you actually told me you did not. I was angry, but i kept it in. To you, it might not have been a big deal to tell people, to me, IT WAS. SO YEA. but I am way over that already.

==

FORTH. when you first know me, you VERY WELL KNOW THAT I AM DIFFERENT. unlike other girls, I DONT LIKE TO STICK TO MY BOYFRIEND. I LIKE MY FREAKIN FREEDOM. I took it from my parents and I dont want it to be taken away by you. You should know how I am like. but time and time again. you question me like I am some kind of criminal.

I DO NOT FUCKING OWE YOU.

Everytime we quarrel, everytime you kill some part of me.
I agreed at the start because you werent THAT possessive back then, now, you are only killing me

==

despite all these. i still love you.
and i still do.

I did think whether it was my fault on my part. but den i realise.
its my character. I do NOT want to change because I do not want to lose who I am for the WORSE. i do not want to be just like ANY OTHER GIRL.

it is a selfish request.

but since i m giving you what you want now, you should lose something. its a 1 for 1 exchange logic in this world.

I will still be this way.
I will still give you time
I will never stop loving you.

but if you choose to remain who you are, and not keep up with me and keep pulling me back.
Thats the end of us. that will really be the end.

I have lost count of the times that I told myself it would the end.

I guess i still love you enough so as not to let go yet.

read this. and think about it.
I do not want to have to lie in your face and pass my days as I have done today.