Wednesday, April 17, 2013
You are Beautiful
I am sure most of you have seen this video around, and I might be slow in sharing it but I wanted to do a blog post about it anyway, to make up for the time I am missing because of some personal issues now.
After ransacking through my older blog posts (i wished I had named them properly), I found an old post about my rants on looking perfect or somewhere near : Perfection
Like the girls in the video, I've never really thought of myself to be beautiful without makeup.
This was partially due to when I was younger, I had this ass of a boyfriend who criticize me really badly before he left me... and whenever i repeat this to any guy now, all of them wanna just beat the shit out of him *laughs*
Just in case anyone is interested, this is an old story i've repeated.
He told me this in mandarin: 你的人又不是很漂亮，你又不聪明，身材又不好，又不是很有钱，个性也很差，我真的不知道为什么我跟你在一起。 and he left.
Translation: You are not really pretty, not clever either, you don't have a good body, and your attitude is really bad. I really don't understand why I am with you now.
Naturally, it came as a big blow to me. I've known from young that I was not the ultimate beauty and that one time of criticizing really did me in big time.
After that, i grew from there. I decided that since i cannot look pretty, I'll look boyish. So I went and never looked back.. I was proud of how I took things. When my friends introduced me to makeup, I really hate the hassle and fuss but I slowly grow into it and even started researching and getting into it more than my other friends which led to who I am today.
I've always believed that with make up, i turn pretty.. without it, I am still plain and nothing. Shortly after, when I started getting more public appearances and people commenting on how ugly my makeup is. I couldn't help thinking if all I've worked for is wasted.
People who love me will probably say: It's okay, there are always haters.
People who dislike me will say: They are right, you are ugly.
Which brings me to a point, if other people can love you more than you do, should you not be the one to love yourself most? I don't know if that makes sense to anyone since I am typing this out as I go along and just inserting all my EUREKA thoughts here.
I've come to love myself, despite all the hate I used to have for myself.
This year, is truly the turning point for me.
I started taking pictures of myself with minimal makeup, started putting on less makeup. As long as I feel that I am groomed neatly and comfy in my clothes, I can even walk out with just my jeans and old badminton jersey.
I guess I really owe it to people who tell me that I look beautiful even without makeup and I've come to embrace it a little more and not be so conscious of my looks 24/7 and sometimes, I even smile at the makeup-less me in the mirror thinking how chirpy i look for the day.
Beauty of people is constantly judged everyday. I do it a lot, and no one is spared.
However if you believe that you can do it, and make an EFFORT to do it, you can become beautiful even if you are REALLY UGLY (I know this part sounds ironic but I really cant lie when I see someone who is less than average)
I've worked hard to be beautiful besides thinking that I am. No one is a 100%, not even those who have went through plastic surgery but they have the courage to be beautiful.
Everyone is a little more than what they think, if not a lot more. Especially those in love, when your lover says you are beautiful with the undeniable look of earnest in their eyes, please learn that you really are, and you should love yourself as much as they love you too.
I have no idea what I just typed but I had some awesome sushi and macaroons last night. Looking forward to Saturday work out session with two of my current favorite boys~~ and also a special make up session with Kelton tomorrow night!