Monday, November 3, 2014
Happily ever After: Yes or No?
A photo we took during the first 1/2 of this year.
This post is probably going to be the least favored post of this year, because everything in here might seem very absurd/insulting/lack of research/inexperienced whatever. This is purely my own opinion, you can write yours, you do not have to agree with mine, but I am writing it anyway.
This year, I witnessed the most disgusting amount of people getting married around me. Not that getting married is a bad thing, it is in-fact, a great choice in life.
Entering a marriage, you take up responsibilities that you never had to deal with in the earlier stages of your life. Which pretty much includes the family you are going to start, and your partner's family.
Why did I use disgusting as a term then? Because the reason for getting married is so wrong.
You ask, what is right or wrong? Isn't right and wrong determined by social norms? If we aren't wrong, you did mentioned before you do not conformed to them right?
Yes. I do not, but let me tell you why. It is because I have my opinions about what is appropriate and what is not.
Society thinks you cannot perform well when you are deviant (e.g. having coloured hair, tats,piercings).
Reality: We have too many successful accounts to list.
Society thinks that you cannot commit to a long-term partnership by jumping into it right away.
Reality: They are right.
Throughout my whole life, I have seen people made up and break up. How many have survive the challenge, and how many were left brutally hurt or even exist in this world?
Let me list a few marriage types which really upsets me:
- Shotgun marriage
- Spontaneous marriage
- Marriage of convenience(highway version)
I know most of you are going to be shouting at this post, saying: It is none of your business! Let them do what they want.
Sure, they have gotten married, I have given them my blessing but nothing is going to stop me from saying MY piece in this blog.
A quick google trip will tell you how bad divorce rates are in Singapore now as well. Guess what? Mostly young adults, like you and I (ranging from 20-25).
Yes, marriage is known as a piece of paper nowadays, but it is still sacred to some people out there.
Most common: Shotgun marriage
Pro-life, or not? Single parent, or not? These are the decisions that people will want to avoid dealing with. Thinking that they are responsible adults, couples entered marriage, swearing to be responsible for their actions. Sounds dainty, yes?
NO. Couples like that are one of the most irresponsible parents I have ever seen.
Have you ever asked yourself, am I ready to take on this bitch for the rest of my life even if she screams at me 24/7 due to lack of rest from taking care of the baby?
I bet not, most of the guys only have the righteous mindset: I love her, I am going to be responsible.
Responsible for what? For food,yes? Wait till the day when you realise you are not ready to settle down, you have tons of things you have not done, or even think that she is not the one.
MAN UP, BE RESPONSIBLE. MARRIAGE ISN'T YOUR SOLUTION. Your solution should have come before getting her pregnant. That doesn't mean the girl is off-hook, have you thought about what will happen if the man you decided to marry isn't as cooperative as you thought they will be?
Want to cry over the baby everyday? Going to regret about that precaution you have never took?
Unless you are telling that you guys have been together for over 3 years and above, I really do not see how getting married is being responsible. It isn't.
If your marriage goes well after 10 years, congratulations to you.
If it doesn't, how much stress is it going to cause the kid?
Sadly, I have seen too many single parent family. It is upsetting because the kids are the one who suffer the most.
Second type: Spontaneous Marriage
OH I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU TOO! Let's get married!
No harm done, no kids, usually done in the first year of dating. Yeap sure.
It is assholes like you, which puts a dent in humanity. Happily ever after in fairytales have forgot to include the rest of the story. Kids, bills, responsibilities. Don't say yes, only because you think it is so romantic and nothingelse matters in the world. Reality check: everythingelse do matter.
If you love each other for another 50 years, I have nothing to say.
However, some people take longer than a year to let their true colours show. Hateful words start flying, hurt, discontent, divorce.
If some couples takes more than 5 years to know each other, I don't see how you can understand 20 years of a single person in 1 year.
When divorce/breakups happen, the "victimized" party will start blaming the whole world. Do you understand how fucking difficult it is to talk to such a person?You prolly dont, because you left him/her for quite some time already.
Love is not an equation for marriage. Love is just factor.
Last type: Marriage of convenience(highway version)
By highway version, I mean break up with the one you are with and getting married to a rich guy.
You are rich now, congratulations, scum.
I have nothing to say to you.
After surviving such an intense blabber of bad language, most of you might be wondering: Why the hell is Sochii so upset about things that do not concern her? It is not like she knows anything about getting married/divorced anyway.
Answer: Because it annoys the shit out of me, and I just wanted to say it. It irks me to listen/see ugly breakups, but it saddens me the most to see a divorce.
AND WEDDING DRESSES. what a waste of pretty dresses, if you are just going to split after this. It is no longer memorable or magical, because YOU SPOIL IT. (okay maybe not but you can judge how annoyed I am).
At this era, unless you can really devote yourself solely to one person, please save everyone the trouble and don't think about getting married.
Work your ass off, buy a car, buy a house, buy an island. Those are much better things to do than ruining a person's life in the future, or even 2.
In any case, if you are curious:
1. no, I am still attached and happy.
2. no, he hasn't proposed and i forbid him so.
3. no, we will not be getting married anytime soon because we want to spend that time to buy a car,a house, a dog, a cat, whatever.(AKA Project Get-our-shit-together-first)
4. yes, I love him, and he says he do as well.
Disclaimer: if you are well-above 28, I don't really give a fuck what you do anymore because you are at the age where you are either breaking or making it (aka beyond medication). I wish you all the best when you walk down that aisle, because it is about damn time that you find a door to another chapter of your life.
If you are below 28, I would say I care, but I couldn't care that much more because you have never seek advice from me, and will prolly never. All I ask is, think twice before you say yes. They say it doesn't hurt to jump into it, but I would say from experience: Jumping into anything without much thought hurts a lot. You would have forgotten about how much it hurts, think back now, you will find it a very helpful advice.
No matter what kind of marriage it is, I love weddings. I give great blessings to all couples and wish them a lasting marriage till death do them apart(or maybe even death can't keep them apart) , but the fact that it may/may not bite you in your ass one day, we will all live to see it... well, at least internet will.